Liberian Field Army
Liberian Field Army The Liberian Field Army Corps is the serving military and ground forces of Liberia. They have been in operation since the birth of Greater Liberia during the invasion of Nigerian territories proceeding the Great Ape Revolt of 6969BB (Before Booga) General Obungus of the 209th Fridge Unit, quote "The Liberian Morale is low in this time of great oppression from Nigerian Warmongers, we, the apes, quote I say are "shidding ourselves in the face of the monkey" and we must form a united arms defensive league against said monkeys." ''Thus the Liberian United Front Field Army was born (LUFFA for short). During the Great Ape Revolt of 1552, when General Obungus was replaced by current leader 'GeneralButtNaked' LUFFA took a significant blow to its main army strength corps, with decorated commanders such as Field Marshall Humphrey Shid being exiled from Liberia following serious war crimes such as stealing bread. Due to Butt Naked's fierce ideological perception of the nation, he abolished communism and established The Great Church Of Liberia. Once these changes had occured, he released 'United' suggested communism and 'Front' suggested they would only be fighting forward, however his plans were to invade every country possible, as no country could be trusted, thus lead to the LUFFA being renamed to the LFA, Liberian Field Army. The actions of Butt Naked made significant changes to the tactics as well. Instead of the Soviet Ooga Charge, a method used when the Liberians had run out of rocks, and were required to run across the battlefield in an attempt to steal the enemies weapons, which consisted of AR-15s and M16 assault rifles, troops would now bite off an Allied Chimps limb and use it as a combat weapon. Apes would commonly bite off an arm, leg or toe, however in some cases oogas would throw an entire body over the battlefield in hopes to weaken their enemy, these bodies would typically be injured apes who were beaten by their fellow chimps, to prevent the ape running back. Another well known tactic was Guerrilla Warfare, however this was quickly adapted into '''Gorilla Warfare' ''with the introduction of the SkyMonccy along with the Liberian Church. This religion proposed a new method of supplying arms to the LFA during war, the Sky Monccy. The Sky Monccy would drop crates across the battlefield which typically contained weapons such as AK47s and RPGs . These crates could be dropped at any time and any place across the battlefield, and would only require a holy prayer as follows "''dear sky monccy, In time of great suffering ape need AK, ape need bombs, and most importantly, ape need shid - oogaape" Once recited hundreds of wooden crates will drop from the sky and they will contain the following: AK-47 assault rifle, RPG-7 Launcher, Kar98k Rifle, DP-28 Light Machine Gun and Pile of Shid Despite help from the Glorious sky monccy, often apes would get considerable amount of shid stuck in the weapon, making it redundant and forcing them to recall another crate from sky monccy, however so many crates were dropped within 20 seconds of fighting a bread thief, that the Liberians physically crushed themselves with AKs and drowned in boxes. A sad defeat for the LFA, and resulted in the loss of over 8 Billion apes within the first 3 minutes. The Legend Of Murphy Ape During the great ape revolt of 1552 there was a rumor going around that a mysterious ape, described solely as an 'egg like booga' from recounts by several veterans of the Liberian civil war. This ape would reportedly go Sicco Mode' on any unfortunate apes who happen to be shidding in the Forest Of Liberia, ''see more details on the Forest Of Liberia. ''These apes were typically yolked to death, a procedure of suffocating an opponent with two slices of Eggy Bread, and then shoving a double yolker egg up their penal tract. This resulted in a 100% fatality and would often leave mental scars to any witnesses. Murphy ape, despite being one of the most notorious killers during the Ape Revolt, ''with over 8,000,000,000 recorded casualties, ''became nothing but an Ape Legend, to keep young oogas from decclin off to the Forest to take a fat shid. Liberian Units '''Wild Ape - '''The wild ape serves as the forefront of the LFA, providing pure ape strength during battles and leading offensives on the front line. These apes were typically equipped with 2 rocks, one for suicide and another for killing an ally. The effectiveness of the Wild Ape is somewhat questionable, with no recorded kills to date and a staggering 9,000,000,000,000 friendly fires, it has stirred up controversy in the LiberianParliament with high ranking apes requesting a re-model of the army, however General Butt Naked was swift to deny these claims by unloading 30 rounds into every ape in the Parliament. He later justified these actions by declaring it ''an act of self-defense'' ''which was wildly congratulated and thus re-elected ApeMinister for the 5883828th consecutive year. '''Tame Ape - ''currently no data exists for this unit type'' Monkey Scout'' - These highly mobile apes act as scouts and recon on the battlefield, which relay intelligence back to Parliament where the orders are made by Butt Naked. Across the years these chimps have been made redundant under Butt Naked's strategy of' '''send in the apes' ''where he consistently orders the apes to charge regardless of the intelligence, even when the enemy is not present. '''Aerial Ape - '''The Aerial Ape is a highly advanced unit in the Liberian army, with highly difficult stick training, in which apes are beaten with sticks or they are stabbed in the neck until death, and then eaten by Butt Naked. These apes are launched from a warrior ape, as they can throw up to 8 billion miles away. '''Fridge Unit - ' Quite possibly the most feared type of Liberian to encounter on the battlefield, Fridge Units were introduced following the Nigerian stalemate on the Eastern Front, in which Nigerians would constantly mow down wild apes with MG42s and Tiger Tanks. These fridge units were highly armored apes which would stroll into combat wearing a fridge, these apes were typically 9ft or more, with at least 2 tons of muscle to hold the fridge, shid was also commonly stuffed inside the suit in order to keep the ape warm and in top fighting condition, these units often lead as a giant shield for scrawny chimps attempting to make ground on the battlefield, however they would often be splashed with aids water and die an excruciatingly painful death on the battlefield and result in a giant implosion of shid, drowning the Liberians all the way back in Monrovia.